"The key to success is dancing in unison." -Julian
What the f*** is polygamy? It sounds like a game from Star Trek." -Corey
"Only another 20,000 RBC reward points and I can get the Kitchenaid Ultra Power Stand Mixer." -Liam
"I'm drinking Pepsi in a Coke cup and it's f***ing me right up." -Keith
"There are only two people I turn to for help in my life .... Justin Timberlake and Vin Diesel ... and right now it's about that time I turn to JT." -Julian
"If you keep making fun of my hip hop dancing, I'm going to keep making fun of your promiscuity." -Vanessa
"I haven't cried in a game since I lost a match to Glass Joe in Punchout." -Corey (after me and Gray discussed crying during the death scene in Final Fantasy VII)
"Sign me up for those allergies." -Penny (after Amanda told stories of allergic reactions to cleaning products)
"Take a pill, pound for hours. Simple." -Corey's Viagra philosophy
"You know how much I hate racist jokes? Well now I'm going to tell one." -Vanessa
"I am starting to wonder if Al, Damion and Pudd are a super hero team. That would explain why no one ever sees them." -Ian
"I like my wings like I like my women, hot and covered in sauce."-Steeks
"No, you like your women like you like your wings, small and boney."-Julian
"I never kiss and tell. Unless they're hot." -Corey
I love being in Newfoundland. I can order a double Screech and coke, hand them a fiver, and get change!" -Chris
"I don't think I'd deal very well with the Apocolypse." - Cohen
"Running Windows is like licking the floor a strip bar, you never know what you're gonna get." -Corey
"Pell, why didn't we play softball? Oh yeah, we were too busy getting drunk." -Vanessa
"You never know when you'll need some extra vodka in your drink." -Allison (sneaking her flask into the bar)
"What's good shower music?" -Julian preparing to take a shower
"You got the theme music from Psycho?" -Corey
"Hey belt! I'm the boss of you. You have to come undone." -Vanessa
"I have issues with something that a 12 year old can read and a 42 year old can read and equally enjoy." -Penny on Harry Potter
"Last night I had a dream in which there was a NOFX song about dating a midget and I woke up remembering some lyrics. "She's my very own super tiny girl. She's extra super small and I'm average size." I'm pretty sure it's not a real song. -Ian
"Did anyone else hear about the new dual-proc board for low-end AMD processors? It's optimized for playing 80's mp3's. They call it the Duron-Duron." -Corey
"I feel the feminist buring inside of me." -Joanne
"I can beat that out of you." -Patrick
"That is a fat rabbit. What do you feed her? Other rabbits?" -Ian on Bojangles
"Iggy Pop is the bomb." -Mark
"I wish he'd blow up." -Corey
"Guys, I'm trying to listen to some Elton John here. Let's keep it simple." -Joanne
"We'll never get an non-discriminatory government." -Krystal
"We could if it was run by a gay black disabled pothead." -Ian
"Hear that man. Life's most important lessson taught by Poison." -Chris on "Every Rose Has It's Thorn"
"I may have accidentally killed my girlfriend days ago...stuck in a hotel room with mass Jolt cola and Diablo 2 has made me think I'm Jesus with sunglasses on." -Gray
"Easy there Mike Lingard." -Julian
"She-Prime, when will you realize that #goodtimes IS your quoteboard?" -Corey
"If I had Chris Walken's sperm I'd be keeping 'em cool." -Hurley
"Just keep an ice cube in your mouth." -Ian
"I met a girl last night who is Gobe's cousin. Small world eh?" -Corey on IRC
"And then you took her home?" -Me
"Here, want to talk to her." -Corey"
"I went to this place called the Bagel Cafe downtown, to get a bagel..I get there and it's all "please wait to be seated" and I look at the menu and its all lobster and classy food, so we took off cuz we couldn't even get a freakin bagel at the bagel cafe." -Gray
"Well, in Halifax there's a place called "The Economy Shoe Shop" and I'll be damned you can't get shoes there. It's a restaurant too. Luckily I knew that before trying to buy shoes though." -Stephanie
"You should try making ice cubes from booze, so when they melt you get MORE BOOZE!" -Julian
"This weekend is way too long." -Darlene on May2-4
"They don't call 'em long weekends for nothing." -Gray
"It's really time to get groceries. I'm standing at my pantry trying to think of what meal I could make with a bottle of jam, a can of milk, and a box of salt." -Corey
"A gross lumpy soup?" -Krystal
"I wish Keith was here. He's the MacGyver of food. He can take tap water, two slices of bread, and pepper and make a kick-ass soup." -Corey
"Like Chow with bongs." -Krystal
"Or Gobe with anything." -Corey
"I hate italian sausage." -Me
"You just havn't gotten the right one." -Julian aka The Italian Stallion
"I might give some of my gmail invites to the bums on george street." -Corey
"Holy lord. I wish someone could have seen the amount of dust I just sucked out of my computer when I opened it up. There were dust bunnies in there with little dust babies having a little tea party and playing darts." -Steve
"I know enough to stop social norms from holding me back from using a sink to pee." -Ian
"I can't imagine going to Sobey's and buying something called 'Bowel Buddy' when there are Oreos right next to it." -Krystal
"I think we all know that anyone in this room would kill anyone else in this room for a million dollars." -Patrick
"Julian became more popular in high school after he graduated." -Drew
"You should report a bug to Google saying they should have a note telling people not to use their service if they're baked." -Corey
"I don't think "Power of Attorney" and "Kit" should be included in the same phrase." -Stephanie
"I found out a side effect of a drug I'm taking is seizures and death. Also, apparently alcohol will kill me." -Liam
"It will kill us all, hopefully. -Keith
"No, like.. with this drug.. it will kill me." -Liam
"Oh. Drink 'er up." -Keith
"Are you drinking beer? I rarely see you drinking beer." -Stephanie
"Most of the time I do the rum." -Vanessa
"And sometimes it does you." -Brett
"New channel, #hurley." -Hurley
"There are enough gay channels on IRC as it is. Don't go adding to it." -Corey
"Did you see the debate there last week? the guy was bitching about star wars? -Liam
"Which star wars? The U.S. government star wars or George Lucas Star Wars? -Julian
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -Corey
"What is regicide?" -Steve
Murdering Regis?" -Krystal
"I should pretend to be a homeless kid who breaks into a library every night to blog. Get it all popular and have people send me cans of soup." -Gray
"You could get something better than soup. Aim higher. KD, or canned chilli." -Krystal
"Time to make an account on blogger.com and start this up." -Gray
"Wicked. I'll blog about it." -Corey
"Don't blog out my secret identity though." -Gray
"No, of course not. Clark Kent." -Corey
"The song from 'My Secret Identity' is now in my head." -Ian
"F*** blogs. I just want my damn rail gun." -Julian
"Did you even bother to think about all the sporks out there that you made jealous because your spork got to co-star with Tom Cruise?" -Corey to Gray on TomandSpork.com
"I was looking at oil field jobs in Iraq. Mega cash but you might get beheaded." -Kev
"You're going to hell in a tar bucket! Believe!" -Dad after one of my anti-Catholicism rants.
"My parents just told me the Prime Minster's sons got caught with coke on one of his boats. Apparently he had nothing to do with it anyways." -Gray
"That's what I'd say if I was the Prime Minister's son. Then again, I doubt my father would ever be Prime Minister. Steph's father could be though. Mr. Prime Minister Don. 'Hey Don, balance the budget then play us a tune'." -Corey
"Why have Brian Adams for Salmon Festival when you can have Brian Mayne right now!" -Brian
"Gmail brings new and odd excitement every day!" -Gray
"Like you are expected to pay it back in some way that you can't know?" -Ian
"Gray's thinking about taking his Atari apart and building a hand-held." -Stephanie
"Who does he think he is? Gobe?" -Corey
"You know you're a nerd when people think you may be dead because you're not online." -Stephanie on Ian having to call Corey's house to make sure he was OK after not being online for 12 hours.
"Me and Drew are home-brew barons." -Chris
"Projecting an image of my body is one thing, getting it to drive a shabby car is another." -Ian
"You mixed chocolate and bacon?!" -Stephanie
"I think I may have, once." -Gray
"When will you ever learn that chocolate doesn't necessarily go with everything?" -Stephanie
"Chocolate goes with everything!!" -Gray
"Don't you remember the KD incident?" -Stephanie
"I'll be happy when I can project a hollographic doctor." -Ian
"Did any of that squirt on you? Because I got an awful lot of it in my mouth."-Allison on Vanessa's perfume squirtage.
"If I had a nickle..." -Stephanie
"Vodka floats my boat." -Allison
"It seems like you can't have a restaurant on High Street without it masquarading as a coffee shop." -Corey
"Ping time outs are like you've had a corpse hanging out with you and didn't know it. Like if someone got shot but just stood there for a minute and then fell over and died. But for that minute you were chatting it up wondering why they didn't respond." -Ian on IRC
"That mooning would have gone off without a hitch if it wasn't for the squad car behind us." -Mike
"I'm glad that the success of my Saturday night is not completely dependant on the kind of nuts I eat." -Vanessa
"Hmm, I do have a crowd in my head. When I walk down the road, people look at me and say 'Look at them all go!'" -Gavin
"Ooo, footsies!" -Stephanie
"I bet my $100 shoes feel nice eh?" -Vanessa
"Yea, my $30 sandals are loving it." -Stephanie
"I got a piece of scotch tape taped to my chin and I'm blowing on it so it looks like a lizard tongue! New invention , best thing since the snap wrist band. Remember those?" -Hurley
"Yea. They were banned because they apperently did weird things to your wrist and blood circulation or something." -Stephanie
"They should have made neck ones so we wouldn't have most of the stupid people we have today." -Hurley
"Meanwhile, back in the ditch." -Brian
"Oh boy, the sky is very #9966FF today!" -Gavin
"Nice shot Steve, You got about 8 inches left there." -Brian golfing with Steve, Damion, & Matt
"I'd like to know how you measured that." -Steve
"I can tell you how he didn't." -Matt
"That's right. I'm not cutting off two inches for anybody." -Brian
"Pell, you should put a page on your website where you just write down all the deep things you say." -Vanessa
"I don't say that many." -Stephanie
"I didn't say anything about it being a long page." -Vanessa
"Count us out, we have rehersal dinner that night." -Pudd on missing Corey's pre-wedding party.
"You'd think after 23 years Pudd, you out of anyone would have dinner down pat, and not have to rehearse it." -Corey
"I was standing in the kitchen at one point last night talking to a glass of water. I told it that it was my best friend because no matter what I did or who I hung out with it would always be there for me at the end of the night........ It had ice in it.-Ian
"Lou Gherig's disease. I bet Lou Gherig never saw that one coming." -Gavin on diseases named after people.
"Only 3 good things came out of the 80's....Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, and me." -Corey
"You wouldn't know a penalty from your ass, which suprises me given the fact that you head is stuck there." -Brian to a gentleman who thinks himself a referee critic.
"Half an hour or thirty seconds. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that the guy got ear-f***ed by a dog while he was passed out." -Mike
"My parents just bought horseshoes. Should give us something new to do the next time we are hanging out on my deck." -Ian
"Did they get any lawndarts? -Gavin
"I hang out with Drew and Chow. I can't have lawndarts." -Ian
"How's she gettin' on me ol' cock?" -Brian admisistering a Screech-In.
"I'm not sucking your cock." -Billy
"No, but play your cards right and you can lick my knob." -Brian referring to the traditional Screech-In Purity peppermint knob.
"Ok, so two Bee Gees are dead. Two are still alive. I have two wrists, and I swear they're both gone if they do a come-back tour." -Gavin
"Quick, who's the Prime Minister of Canada?" -Corey
"I don't care." -Julles
"The difference between Canadians and Americans right there." -Corey
"You can make fun of my looks all you want. Just remember that everyone says you look like me, so fire-away there funny looking."-Brian after being called funny-looking by his bro.
"This town needs a thesaurus." -Andrew
"I would wear a thong if Salad Fingers was on it." -Gavin
"Scott's become a mature and responsible young man." -Val
"They're costing me a fortune in rum, but it's worth it to have them around." -Ian on Al & Chow
"I'd date a girl that did the Macarena." -Scott
"Brian, you're a beer drinker right? -Amanda
"I'm a drinker." -Brian
"Everyone's in love with me. I'm surprised I still have my pants on." -Scott
"Married life is great, except you have to pay for sex." -Brian
"The only thing missing in my life now is a good woman to stalk." -Gavin
"Eeek! I just got busted trying to steal food from the cupboards to take back to Halifax with me."-Stephanie
"I just walk around my parent's kitchen with Sobey's bags. Kitchen shopping rocks."-Ian
"Fat people should be forced to park at the back of the parking lot. They need the walk the most."-Damion
"This all started when you grabbed my nipples."-Minor
"Some people don't like drinking and driving, but sometimes you just gotta get the kids to school on time."-Satchmo
"I've burned Satchmo so many times that the Shriners Hospital have named a wing after him." -Brian
"I'm not going fuzzy-nut hunting." -Krystal
"I don't think Edgar Allen Poe played too much quake." -Corey
"No, he probably didn't." -Gavin
"I bet you he would have kicked ass with the rail gun." -Corey
"He would've had no qualms about using god mode either." -Gavin
"I had no idea that "My Life" by No Doubt was a cover of a Talk Talk song." -Gray
"I had no idea my life was f***ing junk and all I did was talk on this talk box." -Julian on IRC
"The Price Is Right is not just a show for me. It's a way of life." -Joanne
"I just remember why I love and hate programming." -Pudd
"'Cause its a bitch?" -Corey
"Ya, but when you get it to work it feels so good." -Pudd
"I just watched a Winamp visualization and almost had a seizure." -Hurley
"Rule #1: Don't call hot girls from Bishop's "River Rats". Rule #2: If you do... make sure to justify it with "... but your some gorgeous!" -Julian
"Someone call Italy and ask for Gobe. I'm sure he's president there by now." -Corey
"My linux server is making me coffee." -Hurley
"Well, we were talking about a random girl on the channel so it was a good chance that Corey dated her." -Pudd
"I'd like you to meet Tanya,.... no Tiffany,..... no Tamara......" -Minor
"Rob, my name is Tara." -Tara
"Yea, that's it." -Minor
"I can't wait for Halloween. I'm going out as Ali G."-Julian
"That's good, you won't need to waste money on buying a costume." -Corey
"Every day I think of how I can get to California to be on The Price is Right."-Joanne
"What shirt would you wear?-Stephanie
"FREE NEWFOUNDLAND", but it would be concealed under a hoodie until I reached contestants row. I don't want to lessen my chances of "commin' on down" with political devience.-Joanne
"Every time I come home my roommate has food cooked for me. Today she made me a steak."-Ian
"She wants you."-Liam
"[She's my] cousin."-Ian
"That's going to cost her in the afterlife."-Liam
[There's] nothing better than Blue Rodeo + guitar." -Corey
"Yes there is, sex and chocolate." -Stephanie
I think I'd rather take Blue Rodeo. Blue Rodeo doesn't mind when I listen to other bands." -Corey
"I'm not a huge night life kinda dude, I'm too nerdy."-Gray
"Wait 'till Jon gets you whipped on the coke."-Julian
"Living on ex-sex is like surviving on rations at sea. It IS do-able, and it lets you stay healty and normal, but it's just not the same." -Tim
"Wow, GST cheques came out? Woo!" -Gray
What? W00t! I was wondering how I was gonna get groceries this week,...... and by groceries I mean beer ....... and by this week I mean tonight." -Corey
"You couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse if you were carrying two armloads of bananas." -Rick to Julian
"I just pulled my rat out of my bedsheets, and he comes out with a pizza crust in his mouth, and I'm thinking... when did I have pizza?" -Ian
"One thing I noticed about going to parties here, everyone loves you when you're from Grand Falls, and for some reason, everyone knows Steeks." -Corey
"Obviously Donna is gonna become like Mrs. Gotti and just live off the family fortune while her husband is in jail." -Julian
"Fat girls need lovin' too." -Corey
"Fat girls are consumers, they will take and take and take." -Ian
"Crab bucket is it? I suppose b'y..... better to have the crabs in the bucket then in your pants" -Pete
"If I can't pick her up with nerd talk, she's no use to me." -Julian
"Give them 5 tabs of oxycontin each...and an Underworld CD." -Keith's recipe for torture.
"What's more fun then hanging a baby from a clothes line?" -Julian
"I think someone might have started advertising in my dreams. Last night I had a drive-safe commerical." -Ian
"I've switched distros of Linux more than I have switched underwear in the past two days on a ratio of ~ 4:1" -Liam
"How does one trust a broker? I wouldn't trust them with my money. Even their name is "broke." -Corey
"It would suck if you got a wish, and you wished to see all the way around the world, but it was a trick wish and all you could see was the back of your head." -Ian
"But you can have some hope cant you?" -Pete
"Hope doesnt put food on your table, you can't eat hope."-Julian
"I'm sure you could if you were on Days of Our Lives." -Pete
"The local library has access to notepad blocked." -Krylar
That's a good idea. Could be used to write notes to terrorists." -Corey
"I'm trying to live vicariously through your life over here and you're life needs to pick up the pace a little!" -Jenn
"I got into the elevator one night with a bunch of Jolt cans, and a girl was already in there and asked why I needed all the Jolt. I just said that I need it to live, and she gave me weird looks." -Gray
"Tell her "3 words.....up...all....night," then wink and walk out of the elevator." -Corey
"A bit of hysteria always makes for a good first date, right?!" -Jenn
"I hope I'm not a homosexual, that would make me sad... but if I am, and Corey is too, then I guess everything works out." -Gray
"If Corey turned gay we'd end up with the women of the world revolting, it would be like the time Cal went to play Risk." -Ian
"iTunes just gained a few more karma points in my books. I want to make sweet musical love to it." -Corey
"Steph, the male heart is a fragile thing, and I think you like breaking it a little too much!" -Jenn
"Operation "Us-Oil-Get" hangs in the balance today." -Corey on the elections.
"Is F***face winning? and by F***face I mean Bush, and by winning I mean stealing." -Steve on the elections.
"Too much band cross-over. Listening to music these days is like watching soaps." -Ian on Velvet Revolver
"Sweet Jesus! Fatboy Slim is playing here on the 10th... I better go check my pants." -Steve
"Gray, have you won a video game against Steph in the last year and a half?" -Ian
"Come on Chef Boyardee. Save me from mal-nutrition for another day." -Corey
"If there was a second comming, would we have two xmas's?" -Liam
"I wish I was learning Klingon instead of Russian." -Ian
"Three of you, one with a degree from Dal, the other a degree in computer networking and god knows what other certifications you could have, and Steeks, a certified street pharmacist... and no one can figure out how to turn on the heat in an apartment...." -Julian
"For someone who is pissed at women, you're pretty into them." -Ian to Julian.
"Take the ol' skin boat to tuna town Striss." -Jon
"If you spill lighter fluid on the counter, don't try to clean it up by lighting it on fire." -Corey
"Norah Jones speaks to me. She tells me to burn things and hurt Ross." -Brett
"Is hey that horses eat 'hay' or 'hey'?" -Steve
"Definitely 'hay'." -Scott
"So the next time someone says to me "Hey? HEY? That's what horses eat," I can sock them in the pills and say "no that's H-A-Y bitch!"
"Yes, you should do that." -Scott
"What do you think will happen to us if all our impovished workers in the so-called Third World start organizing for human rights? -Ian
"I start growing my own veggies ........ and pants." -Steve
"Nelly will collaborate on anything these days. I'm sure if you set up some tupperware drums in your living room and invited Nelly, he would probably show up." -Stephanie
"You go through more woman than me." -Corey to Julian
"That's not physically possible." -Julian
"Agreed." -Ian
Damnit! Where did I get this rep?" -Corey
"From me......... and dating hundreds of women." -Ian
"I hope all that's required for a spirit quest is to sit here and listen to Norah Jones. Otherwise I'm screwed." -Ian
"I want a pet Targ." -Ian
"I want a pet empathic panda. Woo! Empathic pandas!" -Krystal
"I still don't see how my murdering suicidal friend's death would make me want to make out with some guy who's not my boyfriend." -Krystal
"Does he have a large spoiler on his car or an occupation that requires him to carry a gun? Both are sure signs of compensating for a small bird." -Ian
"I find it hilarious that HitsFM has a contest called "Woof For Duff" where callers have to get their dogs to bark along to the Christmas Dogs to win a Hilary Duff CD. Making dogs bark for Hilary Duff just seems so right." -Corey
"Corey should collect teeth from ex-girlfriends and wear them on a necklace." -Gray
"The only nice human teeth are the incisors, and I don't think ex-girlfriends would be willing to give one up." -Krystal
"I've met lots of nice people by calling numbers on bathroom walls." -Dave
"Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the
shit out of me. So today I finally decided I'm never f***ing reading again" -Dave
"It's never too late for an obsene phone call." -Patrick
"You should only inject things directly into your bloodstream if you're a diabetic."
-Jenn
The first time I drank vodka and Red Bull in Calgary, I got in a fight with a cowboy. Did I
ever tell you that story Pelley? I stomped on his hat!" -Patrick
"That was Penny. She's pissing dimes." -Amanda on money found in the bathroom
"Man are you guys ever retarded about a soap set in space." -Keith on Star Trek: Deep Space 9
"Corey, is there any way to tell if somebody is hijacking your wifi connection in XP?" -Gray
"Look out your window, if you see a van with "Flowers By Irene" on the side, then chances are someone is listening." -Corey
"The Sims 2 makes you feel shitty about your real life when your character is getting laid constantly and without effort on his part." -Steve
"Sweet chili & sour cream are the best chips ever. If they had nipples I wouldn't have a girlfriend." -Keith
"I'd rather buy toilet paper than buy an X-Box." -Jon
"I once had a guy working at Mcdonalds in Halifax give me the wink, and when I got to my place with my bag of food he had snuck in two apple pies.........I was quite pleased." -Ian
"War strategy gets me off." -Scott
"How many times does 1 go into 0? As many times as it wants!" -Corey on binary sex.
"In Gray's mind, oats peas beans and barley grow. He's worth his weight in mold. You get penicillin from mold....... good stuff." -Ian
"Some of the ugliest women on earth come from Quebec, and Cape Breton Island is a close second." -My Dad
"I'm not sure how I feel about my cooch area being on your website, but I figure it was bound to happen sooner or later." -Vanessa in reference to this pic
"I remember Gray waving a $5 bill at sluts in Windsor from the window of Scooters K-Car." -Ian
"Trivia really is the breeding ground for all of your debauchery, isn't it?" -Jenn
"What the f***? Playboy has a "Girls of McDonalds" section now?" -Steve
"Hopefully the ones working there, not eating there." -Adam
"I gotta find something I already do, but get paid for it... like being handsome." -Brett
"I think Newfies pretty much want to settle with one of their own after seeing what the rest of Canada has to offer." -Steve on Newfies marrying Newfies
"It gets really warm here. It's insane. When the power went out for all of the eastern seaboard everyone here died from not being able to use AC. I remember because i was sweatin' to death in a small apartment playing scrabble with two lesbos." -Steve
"Gobe, let me tell people I found you injured under my porch. www.savegobe.com. We'll make millions!" -Julian
"Or nothing." -Pudd
"It's all fun and games until someone gets third degree burns, then it becomes a SPORT!" -Joanne
"Dude, if I could find some steps I'd sleep here all night, dude." -Tim
"You just don't understand the love affair between me and polar fleece". -Joanne
"I'll trade you all of my Nazi figurines for a cigarette." -Jordan
"Seriously you guys, I should write a book on how many skills I have." -Ray
""I went for "The Deuce" once and got Salmonella." -Joanne on Toonie Tuesdays.
"I went hunting for people I know in this town today. I discovered they're all either in hiding, in another province, or addicted to poker." -Dwan
"My dad wants me to start drinking heavily so he doesn't have to do it alone anymore." -Dwan
"There could have been arabic gangsters. The three wisemen were all blingy and shit." -Krylar
"We have to do laundry every Monday night 'cause Keith keeps shitting himself." -Corey on Keith's enjoyment of 24.
"I think I'd be happy for a little while if I had a pack of trained flying wolves." -Ian
"I still haven't seen the second one." -Stephanie on Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
"Don't. Just go vomit in your shoe and look at that." -Ian
"I got hypnotized by this person's incredibly tight pants." -
"....did he keep shifting from one side to the other like a pocket watch?" -Mike
"Oh man, where did the time go? ........... No, like seriously, the time was in the bottom right hand corner, but it's gone now." -Corey
"If you let them sit long enough the bacteria will evolve and eventually learn to clean up after itself." -Byron on doing the dishes
"Don't blame me for you foibles, you dictatorial jackass." -Byron
"Corn Pops are the grown up version of Cap'n Crunch." -Julian
"My boss in the next office, who is but a mere partition away, just emailed me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he did that or the fact that I emailed him back asking for more details." -Dwan
"You share a birthday with Jessica Simpson." -Stephanie to Al
"Maybe you and her can get it on." -Byron
"More like chop her up." -Al
"Mmmm, whore stew. I heard it tastes awesome with birthday cake." -Dwan
"58? I didn't think coyote's lived that long." -Dad on Camilla Parker Bowles' 58th birthday.